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Post by Tulley Kennedy on Apr 15, 2012 16:51:59 GMT -8
Greetings, this is Special Agent Tulley Mexico. I have been put in charge of investigating the murder of Evan Hoovler, and helicoptered in to the SS Mildville late last night. I'm sure you didnt see or hear it. Whisper-mode has improved drastically since Blue Thunder.
I have been following the events on this message board to assist my investigation. It has been rather useful, and I thought I would clarify a few things. The hope here is that by assisting you, you will assist me and the killer can be brought to justice.
First, there has been speculation about the interest free loan Mr. Stoneburner received. I can categorically state that under federal statute 9017b, interest free loans can qualify as payoffs and be treated as such in the court of law. This was upheld by the 9th district court in Debussy vs Ravel.
Second, toxicology reports have come in from the coroner. They have not been able to determine Mr. Hoovler's exact cause of death, but they have ruled out any infections at the time of his death.
Finally, one thing I have spent some time investigating is the chart by one Mr. Wilson and subsequent analysis. While it is clearly the work of a man with deep seated personal issues and some amount of dementia, it does have some lucid moments. However, one notable omission I see is that it fails to account for the possibility that Ms. McDermitt, Mr. Stoneburner, or Mr. Boyle could secretly be an alien murderer. I could be mistaken here, but that is how it appears to me.
I understand the frustration you all must be feeling with the failure to catch the killer. Investigating is hard work. If it makes you feel any better, the FBI's average collateral damage death toll per case is 17, so you are still ahead of the curve.
I will be here until the investigation wraps up, let's find us a killer.
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Annie McClarabow
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Post by Annie McClarabow on Apr 15, 2012 17:00:50 GMT -8
Oooh-weee! Good stuff! So Amer was the only person with the virus. And the payoff was a loan. That gives an additional motive to Erik. I'm going to have to sleep on this.
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Annie McClarabow
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Post by Annie McClarabow on Apr 15, 2012 17:09:37 GMT -8
"alien murderer?"
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Post by Tulley Kennedy on Apr 15, 2012 17:20:11 GMT -8
Poor wording - i changed the text of my official federal document to read AN alien murderer, not THE alien murderer.
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Amer
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Post by Amer on Apr 15, 2012 18:58:18 GMT -8
The evidence on hand suggests that there were three aliens: Andy, Paula, and Son. We can also see that both Paula and Son answered "10" for how many humans were on board. This is a fair indication that they believed that there were only 3 non-humans on board. If it turned out that there really were 1 or 2 more aliens on board, I don't think it would change anything from the chart analysis other than to add those people to the list of suspects for question 4.
Of course, this isn't completely infallible. It's possible that an innocent person lied about, or even incorrectly reported, some quiz answers. It might not be 100% accurate that Annie is mathematically eliminated, but I think it's close enough to get a conviction in a court of law.
Also, can we vote for Tulley? My data now suggests that there is a 101.4% possibility that Tulley is the murderer.
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Amer
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Post by Amer on Apr 15, 2012 19:05:45 GMT -8
... Second, toxicology reports have come in from the coroner. They have not been able to determine Mr. Hoovler's exact cause of death, but they have ruled out any infections at the time of his death. ... This is somewhat important. It tells us that Evan did not have the virus. It promotes the theory that Mike made up the story about Evan being patient zero. It also brings attention to this statement by Son: ... In fact we wanted Evan alive. Paula, Andy and myself were planning to use Evan as patient zero to spread the virus. Amer was our back up in case Evan died. Again though, the sole purpose of the game is to find the murder, not worry about aliens trying to infect the planet, that comes later, or never. ...
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Post by Tulley Kennedy on Apr 15, 2012 21:46:40 GMT -8
Also, can we vote for Tulley? My data now suggests that there is a 101.4% possibility that Tulley is the murderer. Well I DID log out 1 second before the murderer logged in... I will investigate myself.
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Amer
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Post by Amer on Apr 15, 2012 22:40:31 GMT -8
I will investigate myself. Ah. "Internal Affairs". My favorite department of the police department.
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Farrell
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Post by Farrell on Apr 16, 2012 7:20:43 GMT -8
I did suggest it made little sense that Evan would let the aliens know the answer to the tie breaker.
However, we have no evidence that anyone else is an alien. Of course, we had no evidence that anyone was an alien really.
Even if we add alien to me, annie, or erik's backstories, it still doesn't make it any more clear why evan was killed. Annie just becomes more mysterious and Erik's story makes even less sesne. Why would an alien care about owing Evan 25 million dollars? Is Erik using deep friers to take over the world or to stop the other aliens? I feel more lost now.
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Annie McClarabow
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Post by Annie McClarabow on Apr 16, 2012 8:59:07 GMT -8
For serious. Although, it explains why Andy would give Erik a job at her casino. Keeping it in the family and all.
I think we need to look more closely at the virus. Assuming that there is some truth to Mike's assertion re patient zero (which is reinforced by Son's statements about his alien mission), then why wasn't Evan infected?
Also, we may have to consider that the murderer of Evan is not an alien and that the aliens are all "murderers" of humankind (explaining Tulley's phrasing).
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Post by Paula - old account on Apr 16, 2012 9:06:52 GMT -8
Help has arrived! I heard that Special Agent Tulley Mexico is a graduate of the Detecting Investigating Course by Kenneth Starr (D.I.C.K.S.) and has special skills in analyzing crimes on the high seas perpetuated by sea women and sea men.
I think it's obvious that SAT Mexico has dropped in on us because we haven't been doing so good on our own. The important info I have gleaned from his introductory observation is that the is NO ONE who can be eliminated at this point, despite some mathematical computations from our resident (albeit dead) algorithmist.
Welcome aboard....happy hour starts after lunch!
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Amer
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Post by Amer on Apr 16, 2012 12:08:43 GMT -8
For serious. Although, it explains why Andy would give Erik a job at her casino. Keeping it in the family and all. I think we need to look more closely at the virus. Assuming that there is some truth to Mike's assertion re patient zero (which is reinforced by Son's statements about his alien mission), then why wasn't Evan infected? The following explains why Andy wanted Erik at her casino, and suggests that Erik is not an alien. From Farrell: I don't know that the virus is the key to the murder. I think a good point of investigation should be theorizing why Evan wanted everyone dead. My guess is that he wanted to kill everyone on board for different reasons. If we can come up with reasons why he wanted everyone dead, it might help discover the murderer.
For example, we could say that Evan wanted to kill Andy, Paula, and Son because they are aliens who want to conquer Earth; he wanted to kill Dan, Chris, and Annie to clean up loose ends from his nuke deal; he wanted to kill Erik to clean up loose ends from the thrown fight; he wanted to kill Kyle because he was launching a satellite to investigate the lake – which is another thing I'm curious about...
I did suggest it made little sense that Evan would let the aliens know the answer to the tie breaker. The aliens only knew how many other aliens there were. They don't know if there's a vampire on board. Also, this was only the tiebreaker question, which wouldn't be counted unless people were tied. And, again, we had 10, 9, and 8 covered on the tiebreaker question. Evan wouldn't create a town with 7 humans and 6 non-humans, so the tiebreaker is not plausibly the question that we missed.
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Farrell
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Post by Farrell on Apr 16, 2012 12:17:03 GMT -8
I don't know that the virus is the key to the murder. I think a good point of investigation should be theorizing why Evan wanted everyone dead. My guess is that he wanted to kill everyone on board for different reasons. If we can come up with reasons why he wanted everyone dead, it might help discover the murderer. For example, we could say that Evan wanted to kill Andy, Paula, and Son because they are aliens who want to conquer Earth; he wanted to kill Dan, Chris, and Annie to clean up loose ends from his nuke deal; he wanted to kill Erik to clean up loose ends from the thrown fight; he wanted to kill Kyle because he was launching a satellite to investigate the lake – which is another thing I'm curious about... Evan made a subsequent post last week that this was something he just thought would be funny but not related. I guess I can end it early because everyone's submitted. Here were the submissions: 7: Farrell, Sarah, Judy 6: Annie 5: Son 4: Paula 3: Erik Annie wins immunity. She has sent me the topic she would like clarified, I'll e-mail her a response, now. BONUS REVELATION: Evan Hoovler's desire to kill all of his passengers is unrelated to his murder. It's true. That one really got away from me: I thought it would be a funny nod to And Then There Were None if each person had a trap laid out for them. A really, really incompetent trap (how is a gun in a cake going to kill anyone). But then people took that as a clue, so I stopped.
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Annie McClarabow
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Post by Annie McClarabow on Apr 16, 2012 12:46:54 GMT -8
So if we're not going to examine the virus or the reason Evan wanted everyone dead (which he confirmed was irrelevant), what is going to lead to finding the murderer? I'm feeling especially stupid today.
Hey known aliens? Did you guys know that there were additional non-humans on board?
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Post by Son Anheuser on Apr 16, 2012 12:52:13 GMT -8
Not me. I got nothing else on this one. All I knew was that the three of us were aliens, that's it. We kept it under wraps along with the virus thing because it made us obvious targets despite the fact that we wanted Evan alive. Apparently you humans get touchy when people start trying to infect your whole population. Thing is we don't even know what the virus does.
I just keep going back to Farrell because I can't come up with anything as plausible for anyone else.
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Annie McClarabow
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Post by Annie McClarabow on Apr 16, 2012 13:05:19 GMT -8
Not me. I got nothing else on this one. All I knew was that the three of us were aliens, that's it. We kept it under wraps along with the virus thing because it made us obvious targets despite the fact that we wanted Evan alive. Apparently you humans get touchy when people start trying to infect your whole population. Thing is we don't even know what the virus does. I just keep going back to Farrell because I can't come up with anything as plausible for anyone else. Thanks for confirming. Then Erik can be the alien - Andy just didn't know that he was a member of her species and she just happened to offer him the job thinking that he was human. What's your theory re Farrell? I haven't seen much convincing evidence of his murderous side.
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Farrell
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Post by Farrell on Apr 16, 2012 13:28:45 GMT -8
Not me. I got nothing else on this one. All I knew was that the three of us were aliens, that's it. We kept it under wraps along with the virus thing because it made us obvious targets despite the fact that we wanted Evan alive. Apparently you humans get touchy when people start trying to infect your whole population. Thing is we don't even know what the virus does. I just keep going back to Farrell because I can't come up with anything as plausible for anyone else. I'm guessing I didn't get your vote for immunity either I really can't argue with you Son. I didn't do it but there just isn't alot of plausible explanations.
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Annie McClarabow
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Post by Annie McClarabow on Apr 16, 2012 13:43:33 GMT -8
Oh, the theories that started the "And Then there were Five" thread. Yeah, I didn't buy those. As I see it, Farrell's got more motive to keep Evan alive. There could be something else staring me in the face but, I'm just not seeing it.
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Post by Son Anheuser on Apr 16, 2012 14:16:14 GMT -8
Present your case counselor. I agree it ain't much but it's more than I got for anyone else.
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Judy
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Post by Judy on Apr 16, 2012 15:04:53 GMT -8
Welcome aboard D.I.C.K.S. alumnus Very Special Agent Tulley Mexico. I look forward to your analysis. But advise that you'd better look backward. For want of any good reason, these folks may decide to stab you in the back and toss you overboard.
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