How it was Done

[Annie McClarabow]

Since I doubt Evan has the time to post all of our incoherent ramblings as to how Paula pulled it off, I thought I'd just post mine.

1. Alien fingernail

2. The motive. Paula did not want Evan to change his will. Rather than use her considerable powers of persuasion, she took the easy way out by offing him before he had an opportunity to change the will. (Paula knew that if mike inherited all, he'd be able to fund Andy's casino - a new place for this card shark to place her bets and then Andy would stop hitting Paula up for cash).

3. How she did it. After Evan made his announcement, Paula quickly formed a plan. She plied him with drinks (Canadian Royale - a horrific concoction invented by that boarish politician). The guests began to disperse. Sarah teetered off drunkenly toward the bridge -she had been going on and on about her idea for an article about skipper magoo. Previously, you saw Erik curled up under the helm. They'd be no bother tonight. Andy and the prime minister had dropped acid as the evening drew to a close. They sat in side by side deck chairs, entranced with white caps in the distance. The colonel, Chris and Annie were having an intense and quiet conversation as Annie adjusted her oxygen tanks (incorrectly she noted). The others stood by the buffet, stuffing their face holes with the garbage that was supposed to pass as food. Evan stumbled down to his cabin, muttering something about "ungrateful ass fruits" and "butt hurt fan boys."when everyone else appeared distracted, Paula discreetly stepped behind a lifeboat and ducked down. She squeezed her six eyelids shut and transpired down two decks to the interior of evan's cabin. She was in her full alien form now- 3 feet tall with pink and green scales from head to the tip of her tail. He lay passed out in his hammock, snoring peacefully away. With one quick stroke, Paula slit open his throat with her alien fingernail. She transported back to the deck noting that no one had observed her absence.

I'd love to hear what conclusions everyone else came to.

[Farrell]

Good idea Annie, that way Paula can laugh at us more when she sees how far off we were...

1. What was the murder weapon?

Alien fingernail.

2. What was Paula's motive?

Paula had a lot riding on the alien invasion and the virus was the key to pulling it off. Evan was patient zero for the virus so she wanted him to spread it, however, she didn't count on him changing his will to give all the money to the hospital. This would have been disasterous. Paula knew that Dr. Judy had been examining the virus and would develop a cure if given sufficient funding. The hospital was going bankrupt so Paula knew Judy was out of luck. Then evan goes and changes his will. Paula knew evan was going to die in the next few months due to the virus so she couldn't let the hospital get the money. Murdering evan was her only choice and going with the backup patient, Amer.

3. Describe the murder and the circumstances leading up to it

I guess I covered some fo this in 2. Paula waited until evan was in his cabin, teleported in, in her natural form. This startled evan long enough for her to rip open his throat and severing his vocal cords so he couldn't scream. He then bled out. Alternatively she might have removed something from his throat as well, maybe where the virus was growing so she could try to infect someone else if Amer didn't pan out.

[Annie McClarabow]

I'm pretty sure that mine is no where nears accurate. I aimed for creativity. Also not so on the mark. But I'm not a writer.

[Amer]

1. What was the murder weapon?
An alien claw.

2. What was Paula's motive?
Andy and Paula wanted to build the Mildville Rotating Restaurant into a casino + human death pit to entertain the invading aliens. Building this required lots of money. Evan refused to lend Paula/Andy this money. Mike, who wanted his own casino, was working with Andy to build the casino, but he didn't have any money. Paula murdered Evan to so that Mike could inherit the money, which would then be used to build the alien casino.

3. Describe the murder and the circumstances leading up to it
Paula waited in Evan's room. When he arrived, she cut his throat with her claw. Then she locked the door and shut it behind her.

[Judy]

In order to answer the questions put to us by the puppet master, I must first take you to a galaxy far, far away. The name of the galaxy is of no importance. One day the occupants of Minuscule, a tiny planet within that galaxy, received news which was greatly feared. The news--in a far, far away galaxy on the planet Htrae, the aliens living there were developing space travel at an alarming rate. As the Minisculians were afraid that they would one day be invaded by the aliens of planet Htrae, they were determined to execute the first strike. A planet-wide contest was held to determine which of the Minisculians would win the honor of transporting to planet Htrae to destroy all of the alien occupants therein. A little known, but lovely and well-mani-pedied Minisculian often called Aluap won the honor. Aluap was outfitted for the transporting vehicle and was shot into space towards Htrae. In order to ensure stealth, the Miniculians code named planet Htrae, Earth and gave poor Aluap the code name Paula (sometimes simply called Hey Hey). Little did she know that she was also on a collision course with two Minisculians who colluded to deprive Paula (aka Aluap) of the sole honor by hiding within the depths of the transport vehicle.

Paula’s intention was to land in the waters near Trumpville (formerly known as Atlantic City) but global warming caused a miscalculation in her calculations and she splashed into the waters of someplace called Lake Mildville. As her transport vehicle sank to the bottom of the Lake, Paula was miraculously able to pull the escape hatch and swim to shore. (What happened to the two stow-away’s nobody seemed to care.) Initially Paula hoped to promote nuclear warfare between several area-like places on the planet, thus leading to all-out nuclear warfare and the destruction of planet Earth. Unfortunately, when Paula reached shore she spotted a gambling casino and other betting facilities and went crazy forgetting about the nuclear warfare plan.

One day, after a big win at the casino, Paula strolled around the town and spotted a gala event at the Historical Museum. A-ha, she thought, I can easily slip in and poison the drinks with a Miniscule alien virus which would then spread like a plague and destroy all Earth-lings, which she did. One of the attendees was a handsome looking specimen that folks around him called Captain Evan. Paula heard that the Captain had a cruise ship called the S.S. Mildville which was casting off in the early morning. Two birds with one stone, thought Paula. I can (1) arrange for passage, look for some diving equipment, and recover my vehicle for my return to Miniscule and (2) poison Captain Evan and the guests at the Museum event all in one evening. Paula began her adventure by first slipping some alien virus into Captain Evan’s drink then circulated amongst the guests dropping viruses while dancing the night away.

The next day, Paula boarded the S.S., along with a bunch of Earth-lings that looked like they couldn’t find their way out of a wet paper bag let alone identify now-referred-to as Alien Paula. Well, one passenger called Sarah looked highly suspicious. As she familiarized herself with the ship, greeting the passengers, finding the hold, and assessing the depth of Lake Mildville, Paula stopped short and a cold sweat overcame her. Oh My God! (She didn’t know where she learned that phrase). Captain Evan was the first to receive the virus and, as is widely known on Miniscule, the first taker of the virus poison is immune. Drat! She exclaimed, she was to have taken the damn virus herself. In order to succeed in her proudly won mission, she must eliminate Captain Evan by some other means. Not certain how, she lured the Captain to his stateroom (not a hard task, it was his stateroom after all). On her way there she tripped, grabbed the side of the railing and broke a nail. Curses, she shouted (it was well known on Miniscule that she was very proud of her mani-pedi’s and always looked nice). Bending down, she retrieved the nail with the intention of getting it reattached—she had heard that the noted Virologist Dr. Quizzelberry was aboard—she mused, I can plunge this into Captain Evan and all of the alien germs she carried on her body from Miniscule would cause the Captain’s demise.

Although she succeeded in knocking off the Captain, she was not able to complete her mission and return to Miniscule. It seems that diver Annie McDermitt refused to let her diving equipment out of her site, and some crazed Prime Minister and an Inspector Tulley Mexico of Scotland Yard (he can kiss his plans for knighthood good bye) uncovered the truth about little miss Aluap, who, when found out, disintegrated, leaving only a single finger nail behind. A finger nail, now that’s just silly.

[Annie McClarabow]

Judy wins. Nicely done. I see where your son gets his talents.

[Son Anheuser]

There better be a good connection between the murder and our plan because I still don't get why she would take time from our mission of infecting the planet to kill Evan for something like money or a casino.

[Annie McClarabow]

Yeah. I figure the motive has to be something unique to Paula, rather than something equally attributable to any of the aliens.

[Judy]

Actually, Paula was an Alien, an illegal alien. She gave Captain Evan a hefty sum so that he would cross Lake Mildville and into Canadian waters where she would disembark and escape with all of her winnings. Recognizing Canadian waters, the Prime Minister asked Evan why the change in cruise plans. Evan was to spill his guts at breakfast the next morning. Paula had to kill him before this happened. She lured Evan to his cabin with the promise of more money for passage for two more illegal aliens, where she killed him with a broken poker chip. Unfortunately for Paula, Inspector Tulley Mexico boarded the ship and well…we know the rest.

[Annie McClarabow]

So the Canadians are responsible for that nasty virus? Figures.

[Paula - old account]

If only real life was as exciting as that which is speculated.....