Post by Drunk "Emerald" "Evan" Nerds on Oct 11, 2012 11:39:41 GMT -8
I would like to thank you all for evacuating and rushing aboard the Mildsphere 2 on such short notice. After the disastrous events aboard the Mildsphere 1 I felt it best to do things in as slapdashed a manner as possible.
I am Commander Evan. My job duties include flying this unique biosphere-holding spaceship, establishing a just and true society that can lead us into the future, and light janitorial work.
There has been some nonsense going around about clones possibly infiltrating the ship. I assure you, I screened each and every passenger with a strict brood test, which consists of me telling a joke and seeing if the test subject laughs. I can say with 110% certainty that not only are there no clones aboard this ship, the current passengers have great senses of humor.
Liftoff is tomorrow morning, promptly followed by the first of many Mildville newspapers.
Remember, folks, even though its 3312, we are asked to pretend like it's 1993, because apparently the people who made this biosphere thought that time was awesome or, like, something.